Elven Tea Party, Casualties Unknown

Long Description

O Highly Distinguished Individual,

It is our honor and pleasure to invite you to the Grand Centennial Elven Tea Party, where once the Moon Elf Meritocracy was officially recognized as a nation, and later made peace with the Sun Elf Aristocracy. It is at the Tea Party that the reviled Dwarven tyrant, Shortbeard the Impatient, was famously executed in a duel with Longbeard the Patient, and where the civilized nations of the world formed the Iron Alliance, uniting against the barbarous Orcs.

Are your citizens having trouble accepting your rightful authority? Perhaps you can quell them with some token concessions from other nations (or, failing that, you may be able to exchange... crowd management tips with your fellow leaders).

Did your rival seduce your lover away from you 300 years ago, a grievous insult for which you swore eternal vengeance? If so, there’s no better place to engage that uncultured brute in a deadly duel. Humiliate them by sparing their life, send them to the Iron Ramparts to fight orcs, or simply execute that quarrelsome knave!

We sincerely hope that this is the first Tea Party during which no one is poisoned. We would never condone such uncivil, dishonorable methods, and urge attendees to be mindful of the example they are setting for their respective societies.

We sincerely hope to see you there. It is sure to be a once-in-a-lifetime experience!